It was a tough day. The kind which made her all numb one minute, and breaking down in pain the next. Finally, it was time to go home. The sun was setting and playing colors with the sky.
She can’t remember when she started becoming fixated on sunsets. A long time ago, she just knew she likes staring at the clouds as they blend in the last few hues of daylight with the creeping darkness. Come to think of it, she even takes some form of pride when people notice how much she likes catching sunsets. As if that makes her a good person or as if being part of the “lookup club” she has invented is an achievement.
Another day. Another sunset. She once read a quote that says, “sunset is the sun screaming and crying beautifully while dying.” She has always liked that quote, it’s been in her memory for two decades now.
Ahhh. This sunset. The sun must have a zillion lives to die and die each day.
Come to think of it, she had a tough day. On her toughest days, she’s never denied that thoughts of dying appealed to her. She could just disappear and forget all this.
But dying, she knows too well, does not solve anything. It will not solve her problems. Dying will not untangle the mess she is caught with at this point of her life.
Just like this sunset she’s beholding right now. It does not solve a thing. It’s glorious for a few minutes, breathtaking and inviting. Then, it’s dark and the night labors.
Ahhh… If only dying would solve a thing or two. But thankfully, it could not. So she picks up her pace, looks up at the now dark sky. She whispers a prayer to the One seated on the throne way way way above the sun and her known universe.
Always, she’ll choose life, she half declared, half prayed to God. She’ll choose the life He gave her. She does not have a zillion lives. Only one. One that He deemed precious enough to die for… so she asks for strength to go through the night and the days ahead… always, able to sing praise for sunrise and sunset alike.